Coming out is scary. It doesn’t matter if you know that the person you’re coming out to is going to be fine with it; there’s still the worry of “what if,” because really, how can you know? It’s still revealing something very personal, something you’ve probably been keeping hidden inside for a long time and thinking about a lot. What if coming out changes everything?
Coming out is personal. It’s not about the person you’re coming out to. It’s not because they “deserve to know.” It’s because you want to share this part of yourself with them, you want to not have to hide yourself around them. It’s because you want to be visible, you want to be who you are – not because the world thinks you should be visible, not because the queer community wants you to be visible.
Coming out is a relief. It’s a lifting of pressure, internal and external.
Coming out is never over. There are always new people to come out to. At some point, perhaps coming out becomes a thing you can do casually, and then perhaps it becomes being out.
Being out is a mystery to me, but it’s one I’d like to figure out. How can I be out when talking about sexuality and attraction isn’t a thing I do? Is it not a thing I do because I’m pretty much in the closet? Are there other ways to be out? Being out is about being who you are, but who am I?
I am asexual. I am hovering somewhere in the realm of greyromantic and aromantic. Sometimes I’m attracted to people, and those people are of any gender.